Introducing- Piper Ly-Viet Michelle Fur

Now with the adoption complete! We could not be happier.

While the adoption order was signed many days ago, the Giving and Receiving Ceremony was delayed due to the travel restriction imposed to control COVID 19. Finally after waiting patiently, everything slid into place. We went to Lang Son to finally meet our daughter.

We are at a government building, in a room with pretty tables and chairs. It looked like a formal meeting room, or presentation room, or something. There were 5 officials present from the Vietnamese government (social welfare Center director, justice department and perhaps the local police. In addition there was an assistant present to take photos and ensure all the paperwork was signed and in order. Along with the officials, My (Piper), her biological mother, the biological mothers best friend, another family member (perhaps biological grandmothers cousin). Dat from the adoption agency and the three of us rounded out the crowd.

The ceremony took about 15 minutes. Everyone spoke but kept it brief. At the end we posed for photos. My’s (Piper) biological mother gave her a silver necklace as a gift.

Recording the giving and receiving ceremony is an important step in the adoption. It seems to be the meeting where everyone comes together that has a stake in the decision. In that moment, everyone witnesses the adoption. At the end, we sign the meeting minutes.

If I have one hope for Piper as she reads this blog and hears the stories, it is that she has been a member of our family since we first saw her picture. We have worked tirelessly to bring her home. We have not waivered in our commitment to her, we had done all we can to advocate for her and despite the years of waiting, we always help hope that she would join our family.

Earlier in the day, we were able to meet with Linh, one of My (Pipers) nannys. This is the nanny that has been sending us photos and videos since last summer. We asked many questions including daily routine, Likes and dislikes, fears and favorites. We also learned that she has 3 friends at the Center. Two what’ve an international adoption plan. We know that one will become part of a family in Spain but we don’t know about the other yet. We will use our contacts to find out and keep the kids in contact as time passes.

For now- we will focus all of our efforts on helping My (Piper) take her place in our family and help our family transition to a family of 4.

A bit about her...
She is Strong, funny, determined, focussed on getting her way, she loves her sister like crazy, she is a great eater but it seems hat she has had enough rice to last a while as she never wants to eat it. She probably would have had it three times per day in some form at the Center. She doesn’t like to nap or go to sleep. It takes rocking, singing or just being with her. She is sweet and smart and brave! She has had so many firsts with us and takes each with curiosity. She does not seem to fear anything.

Both girls love wearing matching outfits. We have purchased a number of them.

Gotcha Day!

My's Families- the family giving and the family receiving

Biological Mother and I- I only hope that she can feel my love and good wishes for her to have a happy life.  It is my hope that she knows that her baby will have a wonderful life full of love and opportunity.

This is Linh, one of My's nannys.  We were able to meet with her and learn about My's schedule, her likes and dislikes and other info that would set her up for sucess.

Steve and Natalie- waiting for My to arrive, waiting for the ceremony....waiting and waiting....

My has arrived- she looks a little worried.   The nanny is in purple.  The lady in red is a family member.

I sent this photo book to My some time ago.  They showed it to her often and she knew that we were mom, dad and sister when she saw us.

Candy eases the tension!

Natalie was so happy to finally be able to give My the teddy bear she bought for her so long ago.

The officials....

Very Happy Mom and Dad signing the paperwork.

TThe GOLD!  A fully signed adoption order.

The giving and receiving families with the director of the Social Welfare Center where My has called home for 3 years.

A very happy mommy

Getting ready to travel to Lang Son!

We travel to Lang Son on Monday (tomorrow!) . We will be there for a while- not sure how long. Likely we won’t have much connectivity. If we drop out of communication, it is a good thing...it means we are really close. I expect a challenging first week. My focus will be to remain off line and completely present in the moments. Don’t worry if we go dark!

We received this picture yesterday. We video chatted with her, she knows who we are when she sees us. It is so heart warming!

Filling the days...

When we decided to come to Vietnam, we didn't know what we would be facing. Would they turn us back at some point along the trip, would they postpone the adoption? The only thing we knew was that despite the outcome we had to try. The alternative of taking a passive route and staying home and just hoping for the best was not an option. While COVID 19 is bigger than Piper's adoption, we are just looking for a small window to open, amidst the chaos, so that we can slip in and complete the adoption. Once she is in our custody and she is our daughter legally, I will have the luxury of making plans for our family of 4. So right now...all eyes are on the ball. We are so close. Vietnam has categorized provinces into low, medium and high risk for COVID. Hanoi, where we are, is classed as high risk; Lang Son where Piper is classed as medium risk. The borders leaving high risk areas have been blocked and travel has been curtailed for the past 3 weeks. To date there have been 268 cases of COVID-19 with 203 recovered and zero deaths. They are quick to quarantine people as needed; there are just over 50,000 in quarantine on military bases or a home. They have capacity to test 13,000 people per day for the virus.


On April 22nd they will review the situation and decide if another week is needed. We are seeing some great signs that the decision in a couple of days will be positive:
-There have been no new cases of the virus in 4 days.
-There is more traffic- people have more confidence to be out
-A few small stores are starting to look open, or are preparing to open
-In low risk provinces high school students have returned to school with social distancing measures in place.


Once we get word on April 22nd, we will then arrange a trip to Lang Son as soon as we can. I would like to see this happen on April 23rd but the adoption coordinator won't reach out and arrange a visit until word comes out on April 22nd. It is important in Vietnamese culture that people stand by their word. To ensure this, they are hesitant to make a commitment that might change later. This is especially true when they are working with foreigners.


In the meantime, we are keeping busy enough. We were able to go back to our friend Gioi and Phong's house yesterday. They are in the "country side" outside of Hanoi. I am not sure why, but coffee shops and restaurants are open here. We started the morning with a bowl of Pho, then went for coffee at a beautiful spot on a lake by their home. After that, a walk through the park by the lake, lunch at Gioi and Phong's home. We were home by 12:30pm as the day was hot. With humidity factored in, the temperature was expected to be 38 degrees. I tend to melt in that temperature.

Here are some pictures of the day.


Enjoying Pho

Coffee shop on the lake- it was as beautiful inside as it was outside

While we had Vietnamese coffee, Natalie is always happy with a big old coconut!

Natalie and our friend Mi

Outside our friend Gioi and Phong's apartment building has this covid disinfectant sprayer that you walk through on the way into the building. Pretty smart idea.

The amazing view from Gioi and Phong's- notice the ring of vegetable gardens around the buildings.

Such an amazing lunch!

FOOD FOOD and more FOOD....a bit of a culinary recap

We have been her for a month now. Lots of interesting things to mention, and photos to share....

They don't seem to eat very much western food here. My friends are as excited to eat western food as much as we want to eat Vietnamese food. The problem is that our kitchen is not equipped for western cooking (we have a microwave, 2 burner cook top, 1 frying pan, 1 pot with a lid, no oven, no dinner plates, no cutlery). I did manage to pull off Easter Brunch. There is no sausage or bacon. I managed to make some sausage type patties with a random pack of grilling spice; french toast with fruit and yogurt, hash browns, and scrambled eggs. We needed to crowd around the couch to eat as we have a tiny dining table. It all worked out well. They all really enjoyed brunch and Steve and Natalie enjoyed some much needed flavors of home.

Steve cutting up amazing fruit (mango, banana and grapes for brunch)

the gang enjoying the feast

Then a few nights later, we made chicken stew in a pot with garlic toast. Everyone really enjoyed it and asked me to make it again. The chicken stock was a blend of a few creative ingredients including packages of flavoring from instant pho noodles. I made a large pot and everyone had a few helpings.

This is a big building we are staying in (about 1500 residents I think). We can order food for delivery to the door. People in the building make it. There is a whole economy in the building from flowers to plants to food and other things. The food thus far has been delicious. At about $1.25 per plate, there is no point in me cooking! We order in Vietnamese through FB messenger and it arrives like magic. The language barrier has not been much of a challenge. We have had our friends to help and get us started. There is a picture of our favorite dish called "fried Pho" that we often order. It is puffed rice noodles topped in a stirfry of veggies, meat, garlic with herbs on the side and nuoc cham (the classic Vietnamese dipping sauce).

We go to our friends house for dinner each night. I have attached a photo of the table with the traditional meal which includes fish, veggies, rice, eggplant, kohlrabi, sweet potato leaf soup (that goes in the bowl with everything) and fried peanuts. It is a blend of food they eat in the city, and traditional rural food from our friend Nga's village.

There is a lady across the road quietly (she is supposed to be closed) selling Vietnamese sandwiches called Banh Mi. There are a number of different types of Banh Mi. These are pretty delicious. Natalie has been working up to ordering them herself. Natalie tends to attract less attention than Steve and I do. These sandwiches are about 90 cents each for locals, $1.20 for foreigners.

After we had been here for 1 month, Nga figured I was ready for the wet market. I could talk so much about this- it was an amazing experience. At about 6:30 every morning, some of the narrow windy streets close by, that are just wide enough for 2 scooters to pass each other, becomes lined with people selling everything.
They don't see foreigners here very often- I was a little bit of a spectacle but tried to blend in. Likely without luck. This is clearly the heart of the community. You can buy the usual things- veggies, fresh made tofu, eggs, meat and many types of fish and seafood. They have live chickens, ducks, quail and pigeons. You can buy them alive (if you don't want to eat it today and don't have a fridge) or they will slaughter it there for you.
It is called a wet market (I think) because there are many tubs of water with live fish, eels, shrimp etc (and air tubes aerating the water). The most interesting thing I saw was someone buying a celophane bag of live frogs. They were all kind of tumbling around in the bag. Not sure how they would traditionally prepare them.

My goal is to learn the prices, get quicker with the local currency and go to the market by myself. It is a lofty goal!!!

I tried to sneak a picture when no one was looking..