We’ve come a long way Baby

When we first became a family, after about a week we tried to go down to the local coffee shop and have some amazing Vietnamese coffee and yogurt smoothies. We were out of the initial phase where My was in a bit of shock and just wanting to please us so that we would take care of her. We were in a transition, sometimes she would be sweet and smile and other times she would yell, scream, run away and hit. She was moving into the testing phase. This phase is all about testing our commitment to her. If is seeing if she acts like a little monster, will we abandon her or stay with her. During this phase, the time at coffee has hard! I laugh now but in the moment...it was crazy hot, We didn’t know her, she didn’t particularly want to stay with us, we were on a crazy busy road, she kept trying to run into the road to be squashed by the motorcycles, it was noisy...etc etc. I didn’t think I ever wanted to attempt that again. Well, despite that memory, we tried again. She was a different child! We have come so far as a family. We first went to the corner sidewalk restaurant for Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup) then walked a few blocks in the heat (41 degrees) to the coffee shop. She sat so well, ate breakfast and enjoyed frozen yogurt. We felt like a family moving together in a nice cadence as a unit. Despite how long it takes, I am relieved that she can make attachments. I also see other great signs including empathy and sharing. There is no time period for the process of attachment. We are in a great place, but have many months ahead. I feel like I can now breath a huge sigh of relief and enjoy all the moments as the process unfolds.

time to make our way home....

                                                               We miss you Brady!                                                              

Hitting our groove!

It has been a month since we became a family of 4.  While we can begin to understand what Pipers' lived experience has been over the past 3 years, we know that we can build forward.  One day at a time showing her unconditional patient love, one moment after the next.  We are and will always be her safe place to land.  Life right now is focussed on her.  She is the sun and we are the planets.  

She came to us not knowing us, not knowing any English.  She has been open with us, brave with us and ready to accept us, our love and our attention.  We have lived in each moment, one activity, one meal, one bedtime at a time.  

Over the past month she has been learning some song.  She sings "mommy shark...do do do do do"; "twinkle twinkle little star"; "ABC's" and the theme song from her favorite show Kate and Mim Mim.

Her favorite phrase is "I know" said with confidence.  It is so cute.  She has no idea what she is saying, but it makes us all smile and repeat it back to her.

We are working on so many English word, her list is....Dog, Cat, Bird, Duck, Bunny, Elephant, Bee, Butterfly, Tree, Flower, Car, But, Truck, Airplane, Motorcycle.

English sounds can be really hard.  She is working on "Up Please Mom" when she wants to be picked up, it comes out sounding like.."uh twee mom".  I will take it..she gets an "A" for effort.  

All that being said, she still prefers Vietnamese for "wash hands", "I need to pee", "I want to brush teeth", "time for sleep", "time to play"...

We think her favorite colour is Purple.

She has trouble going to sleep.  She has been crying quite a bit.  When we adopted her, we were told that she woke at 7am, had lunch at 11am and then had a nap.  Bedtime was 9pm.  This didn't work for her or us.  We moved her nap to the afternoon but realized that with both a nap and bedtime, this would mean 2 crying episodes.  We have now eliminated her nap in favor of some quiet time and bedtime is 7:30 or 8pm with a good bedtime routine.  We had success for the first time last night- off to bed without any tears.  This means that we have some time with Natalie in the evening to play games and hang out.  Win for everyone!

Our bubble in the sun!

We are in Da Nang,Vietnam. It is beautiful here. Sun, beaches, swimming pools, friendly people and good friends. We originally decided to come for 5 days but have extended our stay to 9 days. The days are spent around the pool and evenings at the beach. We are all having so much fun. My loves the pool. The first time she went in, she clung to me for life and limb. Now she has water wings and likes to bob around on her own some of the time. She is brave and willing to try anything new.

It is a little tricky getting her to eat fruit and vegetables but we will get there in good time.

A typical day for us generally starts at 9am at breakfast in the hotel, we migrate to the pool for a few hours of fun. Lunch is delivered or we get something from the restaurant. At about 2pm, we head back to the room for quiet time and a nap for My. By 4:30 we are thinking about the beach. We gather our things and meet our friends for some fun in the sand. We get some light food delivered to the beach or buy fruit from one of the ladies wandering by hoping to make a sale. By 9 or 10 pm we are back to the hotel for bed time to do it all again the next day.
In a few days we will go to Hoi An. Visit with more friends, swim some more and get some tailoring done. Hoi An is famous for tailors. Then back to Hanoi to wrap up the trip and come home before our visas expire.

Tempering the loss of adoption

She is really good at putting elastics in her super short hair.  I just think about how excited she will be when it grows long enough for real pony tails!